• 076-246-2572
  • info@familycorner.co.za

“The Gottman Island Survival Game” based on the book: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” John M. Gottman

 

Imagine that your cruise ship just sank in the Caribbean, and you awaken to find yourselves on a tropical desert island. The two of you are the only survivors. One of you is injured. You have no idea where you are. You think there is some chance that people know of the ship’s distress, but you are not sure. A storm appears to be on the way. You decide that you need to prepare to survive on this island for some time and to make sure a rescue party will spot you. There is a bunch of stuff from the ship on the beach that could help you, but you can only carry ten items.

Step 1: Each of you writes down on a separate piece of paper what you consider the ten most important items is to keep from the inventory list below, based on your survival plan. There is no right or wrong answers.

Ship’s Inventory

  1. Two changes of clothing
  2. AM-FM and short wave radio receiver
  3. Ten gallons of water
  4. Pots and pans
  5. Matches
  6. Shovel
  7. Backpack
  8. Toilet paper
  9. Two tents
  10. Two sleeping bags
  11. Knife
  12. Small life raft, with sail
  13. Sun block lotion
  14. Cook stove and lantern
  15. Long rope
  16. Two walkie-talkie sever-receiver units
  17. Freeze-dried for seven days
  18. One fifth of whiskey
  19. Flares
  20. Compass
  21. Regional aerial maps
  22. Gun with six bullets
  23. Fifty packages of condoms
  24. First-aid kit with penicillin
  25. Oxygen tanks

Step 2:  Share your list with your partner. Together come up with a consensus list of ten items. That means talking it over and working as a team to solve the problem together. Both of you need to be influential in discussing the problem and in making the final decisions

When you are finished, it is time to evaluate how the game went, you should both answer the questions below.

  • How effective do you think you were at influencing your partner?
  • a) Not at all effective
  • b) Neither effective nor ineffective
  • c) Somewhat effective
  • d) Very effective

 

  • How effective was your partner at influencing you?
  • a) Not at all effective
  • b) Neither effective nor ineffective
  • c) Somewhat effective
  • d) Very effective

 

  • Did either of you try to dominate the other, or were you competitive with each other?
  • a) A lot
  • b) Somewhat
  • c) A little
  • d) Not al all

 

  • Did you sulk or withdraw?
  • a) A lot
  • b) Somewhat
  • c) A little
  • d) Not al all

 

  • Did your partner sulk or withdraw?
  • a) A lot
  • b) Somewhat
  • c) A little
  • d) Not al all

 

  • Did you have fun?
  • a) Not at all
  • b) A little
  • c) Somewhat
  • d) A great deal

 

  • Did you work well as a team?
  • a) Not at all
  • b) A little
  • c) Somewhat
  • d) A great deal

 

How much irritability or anger did you feel?

  • a) A lot
  • b) Somewhat
  • c) A little
  • d) Not al all

 

  • How much irritability or anger did your partner feel?
  • a) A lot
  • b) Somewhat
  • c) A little
  • d) Not al all

 

  • Did you both feel included?
  • a) Not at all
  • b) A little
  • c) Somewhat
  • d) A great deal

Give yourself one point for each “a” answers, two points for each “b” answer, three points for each “c” answer, and 4 points for each “d” answer. Tally your score.

If your final number is over 24, you are doing a good job of accepting each other’s influence and working together as a team. If you scored 24 or below, maybe you need further work in this area.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*