We all work in different contexts, have different skills, talents, motivations and expectations. We are drawn together in the world as partners, friends and colleagues and must find ways to relate to one another, communicate with and to support one another. This does not always come easy. Most of the time, we are not aware of the things that stand in our way of accepting and accommodating one another.
Possible triggers for a conflict situation.
- Being criticized, a lack of follow through from other’s, another’s non-collaborative chances to a plan, feeling deceived.
- Being taken for granted, feeling unappreciated, not being heard.
- Being put in a position of likely failure, not looking good professionally, being blamed for poor work of others, not receiving credit for work.
- Being ignored or slighted, being asked to do something contrary to personal norms and values. Not respecting other’s uniqueness.
- Breaking confidence, being surprised, dishonest, out of control situations, overwhelming tasks.
- Pressure, lack of genuineness, commitment, abusive authority.
- Boring and mundane tasks, feeling dismissed or not taken seriously, unjust criticism.
- Injustice, not dealing directly with the issue, others not taking responsibility for their own behaviour, lack of truthfulness.
- Disruption of peace and harmony, being told what to do, taken advantage of, not feeling supported.
Different ways then how we manage our lives when we do not get what we want.
- assertive, aggressive, confrontational;
- competent (wise, efficient, corrective, apply your knowledge);
- compromising (win/loose some, make a deal)
- silent, withdrawn, in denial
- positive (enthusiastic, avoiding issues at hand, humour)
Work on Conflict.
- Relationships at work or at home are never totally free of incidence of conflict. Conflict is caused by a variety of factors resulting in specific behaviour.
- The more people know themselves, understand their own responsibilities in the conflict interaction and know how best to approach others, the greater the chance to resolve the conflict.
R E S O L V E conflict.
- “R” means Reach out! Go to the person that you’ve got a problem with! Set your EGO aside.
“E” means Engage. Engage in conversation. Calmly talk about the issues at hand.
“S” means Seek. Agree to come up with a sensible solution for both.
- “O” means Open up. Calmly state your side of the story and explain how you feel.
- “L” means Listen. Listening is an important part of conflict resolving. You have two ears and one mouth. Maybe we should listen more and speak less?
- “V” means Voice. Discuss the possible solutions to resolve the problem together.
- “E” means End well. Agree, give each other a compliment and shake hands!